Meet the Real Me
Friday, February 3, 2006
10:40AM - Busy
Modeling going very well
Acting going very well
I am very much single as I've decided I cannot date little boys anymore. I want a man, not a 12 year old that I have to babysit. So- still looking for my prince- not actively- but I suppose if I see him- I'll know.
Still living in Kenilworth with the puppy- maybe when I have some money I'll actually paint the walls or..I don't know- hang some curtains?
Come be friends with me on myspace.
Monday, October 24, 2005
12:37PM - Blame Game
Posting later- venting now.
Why is it that because I'm basically in charge of everything, that if someone fucks up at work it's ALWAYS my fault??
It's not even a question- it's- Danielle- you didn't do this right blah blah blah and then when I say- um- that was done when I wasn't here, I'm expected to point fingers at the person who screwed up.
Here's a thought- figure out who fucked up before yelling at me.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
12:39PM - Tough Week
So last week, on Monday at 11:37 my grandfather passed away. Without going into details it wasn't unexpected....but it was at the same time- and it is very hard to deal with right now. Last week was the hardest week of my life. I had a three day weekend at PSU all planned out, which got cancelled, and I took the week off from work. My boss had the nerve to ask my boyfriend to ask me when I'm going to make up the days- that's an entirely different story.
Anyway- the wakes were Thurs and Fri and the funeral was on Saturday- extremely sad and depressing....my mom is not doing well and neither is my grandmother- and my grandfather was the only thing close to a father that I had...and now he's gone- no one to watch the Yanks with anymore...no one to call up and say "did you see my nittany lions last Saturday?"...it's a really rough situation right now- plus all the family drama.
And I was reminded that it's times like this you find out who your friends are...yeah- well I've found out. How about the lame ass text msg. that I got from Chris...yeah- the wedding between him and Brit next weekend (that she STILL hasn't sent me the dress for)- he didn't even fucking call- why should I give a fuck about this wedding if he can't take two minutes out of his schedule to call and see how I am? I'm seriously considering saying fuck you- you're out one bridesmaid- and a lot of my friends back me up on that- they don't deserve it- for all the shit that I've done for them and this is what they think of me? WTFever.
Joel also didn't call- not once- at all- this is one of my best friends? Please.
Basically, if you weren't there for me, and knew you should've been- don't ever fucking talk to me again- ever- that behavior is unacceptable-
GTG back to work- just needed to vent.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
10:47AM - DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!!!
THERE ARE ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT (INC. TODAY!) PLEASE FORWARD THE BELOW LINK TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND TELL THEM TO VOTE EVERYDAY ONCE A DAY UNTIL SEPTEMBER 30TH!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
11:46AM - PLEASE VOTE FOR ME!!!
You can vote once a day, every day from one computer. So please cut and paste this into a mass email and tell everyone to vote!!!! Thanks!!!!
Monday, August 29, 2005
4:23PM - One Day
Can I have ONE DAY without a total mess ensuing?
Now I have to feel bad because I'm not taking Ryan to Chris and Brit's wedding? Because I'm taking RIch? Because he finally realizes that he can work his ass off to make me happy and I don't want that right now? I'm the bitch?
Could everyone be a little nicer to me please- I don't think it's too much to fucking ask.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
4:49PM - Knots
Really stressed at work- moving lots of stuff today-
Can everyone calm down? That'd be great. Much appreciated.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Can everyone in my life get a fucking grip and realize that things are NOT as bad as they seem? Or, if they cannot get that grip, then to go away- I am sick and tired of trying to make people smile who just are "out of it" and depressed on life- I can only do so much and it's draining trying to make people smile- especially when these are the same people that I need to lean on and they just aren't there- and it's not even like something major is wrong- it's just all "I'm out of it"- "it's not you, I'm just depressed"- well then go be depressed elsewhere and don't let me bog you down with my actual problems-
I guess why this journal is helpful- because I can vent here and actually feel listened to- right now I'm moving to Kenilworth- I have no help whatsoever- the boyfriend was going to move in in September and was supposed to give me $525.00 today- he misunderstood me and thought that he only owed me half that amount- so guess who can't get the keys to her apt. as she once thought she would today? So I STUPIDLY asked him if he could afford to live there and then said: do you want to move in in October instead and he JUMPED on that and was like- yeah- financially that would be better for me- nevermind how that financially fucks me up the ass. Because who cares how it affects me? And then when I CALMLY express that I'm displeased with his answer- he SCREAMS: Why did you ask? You ALWAYS do this to me.
Gee- I didn't realize he had it so rough- I found the place- I put down the entire deposit- we're using all my furniture because his house isn't sold yet- I found the washer and dryer because we can't use his until he sells his house- I found the frig because we can't use his until he sells his house...I've made the arrangements to see these appliances etc. He got the storage unit. Which I don't even need and he didn't get it until I pushed him and suggested that maybe he should do SOMETHING. This is the story of my life- you want something done right? Do it yourself- not to mention getting completely shot down earlier this week- spending an hour getting all dolled up and then being told: I'm tired......and yesterday it was the stupid argument over who is busier than who and I was trying to avoid that but he's like- well I have soooooooo much to do- fuck that- cry me a river- I suppose I just sit around on my ass so I can't possibly comprehend what it's like to be busy and juggle 8 milion things- yeah- that's it. SO now I'm living by myself for one month- I've made the decision for him- it's easier that way-
and my mother- CONSTANTLY depressed and I told her today just to leave me alone because I can't handle her depression all the fucking time and now I'm aggravated and she's not helping- to which she's like- you know why I'm depressed- the family is in turmoil...etc. I don't like your modeling- you're too classy to do some of the shots that you do. EXCUSE ME....but ALL the shots I take are classy and just because you can't wrap your 1930's mentality around that, don't make it my problem...if you can't support me (though it would be nice to have my mother's support) then shut the fuck up and don't mope around me because YOU can't handle it- you accomplish nothing and I'm not going to stop modeling because you don't like what I do- suck it up. and the family is in turmoil....ok- I'm sorry that my fight with my uncle is causing every single family member distress- but you don't make it any easier on me by pulling out the rug from me...we're not talking- that's all there is to it- and HE didn't call on my birthday- he didn't send a card- but guess what- I FUCKING DID for his birthday- like I know I was EXPECTED to- and still I get nothing for that- he doesn't call- nothing- forget how that makes me feel that the one person I considered a father figure in my life thinks I'm a drunk and I'm an idiot and is no longer around- let's forget that he uses money to buy people instead of picking up the phone- let's forget about all that and make me the bad guy- what the fuck do you people want from me? I sent a card- he's done nothing- I'm done.
Work- stressful- too much- too much responsibility- too much in general- and considering I spend 9-10 hours here a day to leave and go to depressed friends, relatives and boyfriend....it's more than I need-
Thursday, July 28, 2005
12:12PM - It's BRRRR in here!!
It's way too cold in this office- I'm dressed for January- can't wait to go outside and warm up. Heading to the bank and the mall during the lunch break that I never take. I need shoes..that I should own already.
Pretty busy day- got new glasses last night courtesy of my roommate who's dog chewed up my other ones that were (god forbid) on my dresser, in my room.
Show time tonight- senior citizen crowd- that should be inspiring.
Cool new necklace on...still think I payed too much for it.
John has an awesome picture of my eye on his OMP site..yes, my eye. onemodelplace.com, member number 6969.
Getting the car checked out Sat. morning- shopping for cast gifts- picking up the pooch from mom's-going to see a place in Madison- hopefully I'll love it and be able to move in- *Crosses fingers*
I smell so fantastic today.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
12:23PM - Come a little closer...
Get to know the real me.
-Living in Westfield. Looking for new place. Short story? HATE the roomate's bf who suddenly seems to be living there. You guessed it. FOR FUCKING NOTHING. WTFever. Plan on leaving that situation.
-Love life- loving it. *blushes* Very happy.
-Professional life- job- good- pays extremely well.
-Modeling- Oh yeah- doing so damn well- check the banner.
-Acting- Currently in Oliver- finally pursuing this for real.
I've decided that it's time for me to actually be happy.
Stronger than ever before.
It's my time.